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By the team at randallteo.sg

A Will is a legal document. It says who gets what, who manages the estate, and who looks after your children if they are young. What it cannot do is capture the personal stuff: the reasoning, the emotion, the things you actually want people to understand.

That is what a letter of wishes is for.

What is it?

A letter of wishes is a personal document you write alongside your Will. It is not legally binding, but it speaks to your executor, your trustees and your family in your own voice, not in legal language. It fills in the gaps that a Will cannot.

What can you put in it?

Explaining your decisions. If you have left different amounts to different children, or left someone out entirely, this is where you explain why — in your own words, with the nuance a legal document cannot provide.
Guidance for trustees. If you have set up a trust, your trustee has some discretion over how it is managed. A letter of wishes can guide how you would like that discretion used, without legally tying their hands in ways that might not make sense years down the line.
Personal items and what they mean. Your Will can say who gets a particular item. Your letter of wishes can say why you chose that person, and what the item meant to you.
Funeral and end-of-life preferences. Burial or cremation. Religious or secular. A big gathering or something small and quiet. These belong in a letter of wishes, not a Will.
Messages to the people you love. Some people use this as a chance to say things they never quite got around to saying in life — to their children, their spouse, their grandchildren.

Why not legally binding is actually a good thing

Because it is not a formal legal document, you can update a letter of wishes whenever you want. No witnesses, no formalities. It can reflect your current thinking and your current relationships in a way that a Will sometimes cannot keep up with.

Start somewhere

It does not need to be long. A few paragraphs is enough to make a meaningful difference. The families who have one are always glad it exists. The ones who do not often wish they did.

If you have a Will but no letter of wishes alongside it, this is your nudge to start one. It does not need to be perfect. It just needs to exist.

Not sure where to start?

Sometimes a short conversation is all it takes. We are happy to help you think through what yours should cover.

Worth a conversation